


The Tale of the Teacher

by Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Buckle up and prepare for emotional trauma, Can't think of any other tags at the mo, Character Study, Garmadon's many death's mentioned XD, Gen, Get them all therapy, Just a long fic about Wu and everything he's been through, Kinda, Let me know if you think I should add any, No beta we die like Garmadon, Seriously Wu's been through a lot, Unreliable Narrator, WU ANGST MAH DUDES HERE WE GO LSAMDFA;OWEIF, Wu's a pretty interesting character, Wu's got some issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:08:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28092180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21/pseuds/Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21
Summary: Wu has lived a long life. He has made mistakes, countless mistakes, and, no matter how small at the start, they always seem to magnify as time passes and come back to haunt him, and, by association, his students.OrThe Wu angst I've been wanting to write for so long, and boy is there a lot of it *shoves it into your arms* ENJOY
Comments: 59
Kudos: 41





	The Tale of the Teacher

  
  
  
  


Wu’s earliest memory was of sparring with his older brother outside the monastery that they called home. 

“You’re holding it wrong,” Garmadon had said, looking like he was holding back a laugh. 

Wu remembered huffing with frustration, and the patience of his brother as he guided him to the correct stance and grip on the wooden training katana. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll get it,” he had reassured him with a confident smile, and Wu believed him. 

Their father had found them a few minutes later and decided that since he seemed to be big enough to hold a katana now, he could join them in training. 

Wu remembered his excitement, and eagerness to be able to spend more time with his father and brother, and Garmadon had grinned, looking just as excited at the prospect as he felt. 

“I told you!” he’d exclaimed, once their father went back inside, scooping him up in a hug and spinning around until they were both dizzy, and Wu had laughed with gleeful excitement. 

They’d spent the rest of the day “sparring,” if it could be called that. It was more just… two brothers playing and enjoying each other's company. 

It was a fond memory. One that was sometimes forgotten, overshadowed by the one that came not long after. 

  
  
  
  
  


Once upon a time… he’d had a brother. An older brother whom he looked up to and loved with his entire being in the unconditional way all children are able. 

But he’d lost him. 

Lost him to a mistake that would shape his future. 

A weapon over a wall. 

A nervous, guilty glance back at the father. 

“I don’t want to,” he had said, shrinking back, when Garmadon told him he needed to retrieve his katana. 

A child, nervous at the prospect of climbing a wall, and facing a scolding, and yet… Wu wondered… 

“Never put off what can be done today,” Garmadon chided, echoing the words of their father, that they’d both heard so many times. 

It had made Wu laugh, and Garmadon smiled at him before climbing up the wall to retrieve it for him. 

Wu often wondered if things would have turned out differently had he been the one to go over the wall--if he had been brave enough to retrieve what he had lost… would he have lost less, or more? 

As it was, it was Garmadon who went, doing something for his little brother whom he loved; an act of love and patience that destroyed him. 

It was not fair. 

But then again, few things in life were. 

Wu had to stop thinking of “fair” a long time ago. He’d seen too many injustice’s to remain sane thinking that way. 

Fair or not, the result was the same. 

He’d lost his brother that day. 

And it was his fault. 

Silly, wasn’t it? To blame a child for something that was either Destiny or pure coincidence, and yet, young as he was, when Garmadon’s eyes had snapped to him, with anger and hate and boiling rage:  _ “It’s all Wu’s fault!”  _ Wu had not thought for a moment that he was wrong. 

The pain of the bite faded and Garmadon went back to his old self, more or less. He was… harsher. More impatient. Not the brother he remembered, but so similar that Wu sometimes forgot it had happened. He wanted nothing more than to forget and hope his brother was back to normal and that nothing would come of it, even as some small part of him knew that was not the case. He chose to ignore it, and move on. 

The experience should have made him more cautious. 

And yet he did not learn. 

  
  
  
  


Lessons were easily forgotten when you were young, and Wu forgot many times; his childlike curiosity and desire for knowledge of the unknown, and to  _ see,  _ and to trust, ensured he and his brother were pulled into trouble often. And sometimes, the lessons learned… were not necessarily the good kind. 

Wu had regrets… too many of them, but it was impossible not to have them when you’d lived as long as he had. 

Curiosity taken a step too far, a reckless promise made, and trust placed where it should not have been, nearly starting a war. 

(“Why would you do that?” the Ninja would later ask him. “Why would you risk peace, go against the first spinjitzu master’s wishes, and endanger everyone, just so you could… what? See some snakes?” 

(“Why would you cross a river to catch a frog, even after your parents informed you of the danger? Or stay out after dark against their wishes? Why does a child do anything? Curiosity, carelessness, ignorance, perhaps inexperience. Being in a position of power does not make a child any different; curiosity affects them the same, regardless of who they are. Some are just... near snakes instead of rivers.”)

(Maybe one day he would truly believe that for himself.) 

He and Garmadon defeated Aspheera, and erased Wu’s mistake, invoking their father’s wrath, but in the end, things were okay. 

For a time. 

  
  
  
  


The years progressed and Garmadon changed. 

As Wu grew older he learned a little better to be careful, and think about how his actions and decisions would affect others. (Everything he did affected others, he couldn’t breathe--) They traveled places with their father, met with powerful people, and saw places others could only dream of. 

When Garmadon expressed no interest in training with their father anymore, and spent more time away from home, (away from them,) Wu stepped in to learn and to prepare for the future in his place. 

Garmadon was furious at that, and Wu didn’t know what to do to fix it, or even if he could. 

Beneath all the building anger, Wu knew his brother still loved him, but he carried the guilt with him every day, every time Garmadon snapped at their father, or stormed off, or got angry at something for seemingly no reason, he knew it was because of something he did. 

(It was silly, to blame a child for it.) 

(Easy to blame himself however.) 

  
  
  
  


Their father vanished. Moved on to the next life, was all Wu could assume, sitting surrounded by the empty air of the monastery. 

He left a hidden message, a map to his tomb, which Wu could not bring himself to open and try to decode, or even look at, really. 

“He ran,” Garmadon snapped the correction.“ Ran away to hide and  _ die alone _ , the coward.” 

Wu could see the grief and hurt burning behind his rage, but did not try to comfort him, or call him out on it, believing it would do more harm than good.

Perhaps he should have. 

“ _ Good riddance,” _ Garmadon seethed and stormed off, leaving him alone. 

Wu handled telling the elemental masters and anyone who asked about their father’s passing in the weeks that came, losing himself in the letters and visits from friends of his father’s he didn’t remember. There was no sign of his elder brother. He could only guess where he’d gone. 

He supposed he should have cried at some point but never did, feeling oddly… hollow about the whole thing. 

There was a moment in which he felt anger sparking in him, and he threw his father’s table of notes across the room and screamed for a while--as loud and as long as he wanted because there was no one around to hear him. (He was alone.) Anything to fill the suffocating emptiness of the monastery and the cavity in his chest. 

(Grief affected everyone differently, he supposed.) 

  
  
  
  


Wu remained at the monastery, and his brother remained away, until a threat to Ninjago brought him back, and they battled and defeated Samukai: King of the Underworld, together, ensuring their home’s safety. 

He snapped even more, and his temper was rather volatile (his fault, his fault, his fault) but he had his brother back, so it was okay. 

The Prophecy of the Green Ninja was written, and Wu looked at it for far too long, as he watched how his brother descended further into the influence of the Great Devourers venom, before telling himself that it was a long time away, and forcing himself to push it to the back of his mind. 

And there it lingered. 

  
  
  
  
  


They met Misako. 

She was an explosion of life, bright and kind and unyielding and Wu felt lighter and more hopeful around her than he had in years. Garmadon seemed to mellow and grow softer around her as well, the three of them growing closer. 

Best friends, Wu thought, smiling at them as they laughed at something. These people were his best friends. 

(And something more.)

  
  
  
  


Garmadon left again, this time feeling more permanent, going to find another Master to train under, uninterested in lingering with nothing but notes from their Father, and leaving Wu alone. 

Chen, Wu learned later in the scarce letters Garmadon would send him (each one cherished gold and tucked carefully into a box, some threatening to fall apart with how many times he’d unfolded, read, and folded them up again) was a man well versed in darker arts, and Garmadon brushed off his tentatively expressed concern. 

Wu missed him. 

(The Prophecy lingered in the back of his head, nudging, prodding, and whispering.) 

  
  
  
  


He did his best to guide those who came looking for advice and for help; they were people his father would have helped, but the responsibility fell to him now. (Him and Garmadon, but Garmadon was not there, so it was just him--) He hardly felt qualified when the elemental masters looked to him to train their children, but he was all they had, so he pushed the feelings of inadequacy aside and accepted the task. 

(And tried not to think about how much easier it would be if he had his brother there next to him, when he felt unsure, or afraid, or…) 

  
  
  


Misako was there as often as she was away, bringing tales of knowledge and adventures she experienced while Wu remained in the monastery. She would visit Garmadon too, he learned, and he asked about him often. He knew less and less of his brother as his letters had been getting scarcer. Misako was hardly averse to telling him, and it was in those conversations Wu revealed more of their past and eventually the Prophecy that had been plaguing him for so long now. 

She made it easier to breathe, didn’t expect him to be perfect or all knowing, often laughing at his follies, in a way that made them seem less earth-shattering, more manageable, and telling him to get his head out of the dirt when he needed it. 

She made the nights alone in the monastery more bearable, with her letters and smiles and visits. 

He scribbled out letter after letter, trying to put what he felt into words, but each one ended up crumpled up and unsent. 

  
  
  
  


The training of the elemental master’s continued. He got new letters of deceased friends of his father’s, and… eventually friends of his own that made his heart hollow, but he continued on, each memory making his heart ache. 

Garmadon’s letters came less and less, more distant, colder… 

(He just wanted his brother back.) 

A small group of children outside the monastery, scampering off the moment he opened the door, all save one… 

  
  
  
  


Morro exceled and Wu clung to the hope of getting his brother back. 

(He has to be the one, he has to be the one,  _ he has to be-- _ ) 

The new renewed feeling of hope gave him courage and he wrote his heart and soul out to Misako 

( _ I love you.) _

_ (With everything I have. Everything I am is yours, if you would have me.) _

  
  
  
  


She chose Garmadon. 

He breathed through the heartbreak, stepped back and smiled, and let them be. Their happiness was really all that mattered to him. 

(Even if that meant they were happy without him.) 

She made him (both of them) a better person, Garmadon was happier, smiled more. He was gaining his brother again, and losing something else. (Though he supposed he never had her in the first place, did he?) 

They were happy, so he was too. 

(She visited him less.) 

(He was alone again.) 

  
  
  
  


He was distracted, desperate... He didn’t notice until it was much too late. 

He gained a son, and didn’t realize it until he had lost him. 

Morro was not the Green Ninja, and he stormed off--in a manner reminiscent of Garmadon--off to prove himself to Wu, even though there was nothing to prove, and Wu had made another horrible mistake--an incredibly selfish one, so enamoured with the idea of getting his brother back, that he didn’t realize he was trying to force Destiny, and turn a child into something they were not, all for the sake of himself. Then allowing himself to be blinded by his own heartbreak so he did not  _ see _ the effects of his obsession until it was too late and he had already lost him. 

(Selfish.) 

He let Morro storm off, believing he likely needed the time to cool down on his own, away from him. He could hardly blame him. He just needed to give him space. 

(He was afraid if he tried to stop him that he would fail. So he didn’t try.)

(Selfish. Cowardly.)

He waited for him. 

(He should have gone after him.) 

  
  
  
  


Up on the steps of the monastery for days… weeks… months, staring out across the clouds until the biting cold grew too much and his nose, fingers and toes had gone numb from the chill, forcing him indoors, and still he waited. (Alone.)

The Mailman found him at the front of the doors, handing the letters from his brother and Misako in person rather than leaving them at the door since he was already there. He never asked, which Wu wasn’t sure if he appreciated or… 

(His chest ached, he was so lonely.)

  
  
  
  


Garmadon and Misako were happy. 

In his letters, Wu told them of all his students but one. 

The doors remained unlocked, even through the winter, and he waited, his breath curling into white exhales in the cold frosty air. 

( _ Please, come back, please, come back, please, come back, please, come back-- _ ) 

(He never did.)

Wu breathed and continued training the students that remained, even as he questioned everything he did, wondering if it was enough for them, thinking of all the things he should have been doing  _ better _ , worrying about how he might make another mistake that would affect them in a terrible way… 

His students grew, and laughed, and learned, and lived. 

(Morro still didn’t come back.) 

(He would have been fifteen then.) 

(They had picked a birthday date for him a year after he started living at the monastery. Wu could still remember the look of wonder in his eyes as they celebrated his first Birthday together in the quiet kitchen with a small cupcake that was a little lopsided because Wu wasn’t the best baker.) 

(Somehow, the happy memories made it harder to breathe than the sad ones.) 

  
  
  
  


A war started with the Serpentine. 

The elemental masters called him to be their leader and he left his home, left the monastery to go fight with them, his students--now nearly grown--accompanying him to fight. 

(He had to lock the doors.) 

The days were long, Wu slept when he could and fought and fought and fought, alongside the elemental masters and his students. 

Garmadon arrived to the fight and Wu felt as though he could breathe for the first time in a long time, nearly giving in to the urge to hug him and hide in his arms, but catching himself before he could, and merely grasping his arm in greeting. (--wanting so much more than a handshake, what he wouldn’t give for a hug right then--)

They were at war, but he had his brother so he allowed himself to think maybe everything would be okay.

He made countless mistakes, some resulting in the losses of the lives of the people who trusted him to make the right decision and keep them, and all of Ninjago, safe. It was a betrayal of their trust, letting them perish under his command, but he couldn’t stop, he had to keep going or else the rest of them would be lost as well. 

(A mis-worded letter, written on two hours of sleep, sent, and shattering a possible alliance. Mistakes… always rippled further when in a position of power, whether that be by birth, or by command, and Wu’s mistakes always seemed to magnify tenfold.) 

(It had always been suffocating, but now it was destroying lives.) 

Everyone was tired, and a truce started to sprout in whispers and discussions, tentative and shaky. The Anacondri wished to discuss a truce, and after some discussion they agreed to it. 

A trap.

(“ _ I did learn one thing from you, Aspheera…”) _

( _ Never trust a snake, never trust a snake, never trust a snake-- _ )

In the end it was Garmadon that saved them all with an invention of flutes that weakened their enemies and led them to victory. (--while Wu led them to destruction and ruin, so many mistakes and the people who trusted him and followed him paid the price--how could they trust him after that?) 

The Anacondrai generals were banished to the Cursed Realm, and Wu tried to pretend he didn’t have trouble sleeping that night (and every night afterwards for years) running their decision over and over in his mind, thinking if there was another way they could have ended the war, but… 

(The creature that bit his brother, Aspheera, all those dead elemental masters and people…) 

(He had to make the hard decisions, he had to make the hard decisions--)

( _ Never trust a snake, never trust a snake, never trust a snake. _ ) 

It had to be done. 

Ninjago was safe, that was what mattered. 

Chen and Clouse were banished to an island, and Garmadon and Misako came to the monastery (they asked him why he left the door unlocked and he couldn’t tell them) and he thought maybe… maybe Garmadon would stay this time. Maybe he could have his brother and best friend near him for a little while longer, just so he didn’t feel so… 

(Alone.) 

  
  
  
  


The war was over. Misako and Garmadon stayed with him while the people around the war ravaged towns recovered and helped him help them, and for a while, things were okay, and he was happy. His heart would still ache sometimes and he continued leaving the monastery door unlocked, but breathing was easier with them there. 

They worked together to bring peace to Ninjago, continuing on with the Elemental Alliance, and with small grievances, individual souls threatening Ninjago rather than armies, though they tended to be just as dangerous. 

Garmadon found him sitting outside the monastery doors one night, and sat next to him in silence, not asking, which Wu appreciated, but also ached because of. Part of him knew if his brother asked again, he would tell. But he didn’t. So it remained his mistake to bear alone. 

He could handle it alone. It was his mistake, his to bear, he understood that. He was alone more than he had someone he was used to it, it was fine. 

(It wasn’t fine.) 

  
  
  
  


They worked towards peace and Krux and Acronix betrayed them. 

(Why did he ever trust them, why did he ever trust her--?) 

(Could he trust anyone?) 

Ray and Maya made them the Time Blades and Wu and Garmadon defeated the twins with them. Wu tried not to think about how the people who used to be his trusted friends and companions had leapt into the temporal rift after them, and were lost to time. 

(He should have done better, he could have been better, done something to help them, to prevent it--) 

(They would come back. He needed to be ready.) 

  
  
  
  


Garmadon and Misako married. He was so happy for them, and tried to keep the smile on his face until they were gone, leaving him alone again, and he waited for Morro, helping those who came to him seeking wisdom and assistance and any kind of aid. 

(It hurts, it hurts, it hurts…)

(He wasn’t coming back.) 

(He was alone.) 

He locked the Monastery door during the nights. 

  
  
  
  


The Elemental masters faded out of the spotlight, distancing themselves as they attempted to live normal lives and settle down. Every person that came to bid him farewell opened a new cavity in his chest, but… 

Lilly stayed.

She helped him protect ninjago, and, although they were hardly around each other, because there was so much to protect and so many places they needed to be, it was still comforting to know that somewhere, on the other side of Ninjago, there was another person doing what he was doing, and that he wasn’t alone. 

But like everything in his life, it seemed it could not last forever. 

Lilly had done so much for Ninjago, she was incredibly selfless and he owed her so much; she deserved rest. He told her that he supported her decision with his whole heart and when she hugged him, her towering form, squeezing all the air from his lungs from the force of her hug, he could pretend that was the reason he was having trouble breathing.

“You’re one of a kind, Lilly,” he told her. “You deserve to have your family.” 

She settled down with Lou, someone Wu had only met once, and a baby boy they named Cole. (Earth Elemental Master Cole… Lilly always did have a sense of humour). He visited them once to see him, and he was so happy for her. 

(He was alone again.) 

  
  
  
  
  


He protected Ninjago with everything he had in him, doing his best to struggle through every impossible step with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Somehow he managed. 

(Alone, alone, alone. Breathe, just breathe.) 

He lost, and lost, and lost, and lost. 

(Why did it always feel like he was always losing something?) 

  
  
  
  
  


Misako and Garmadon had a son. His name was Lloyd. Wu loved him with all his heart. He was on the other side of Ninjago when he was born, but returned as fast as he could to see him, and Garmadon opened the door looking happier than Wu had ever seen him-- 

Perhaps that was what allowed the venom to finish taking hold. The lull of good and happiness, making them all fall into a false sense of security and let their guard down. 

“Garmadon?” Wu asked, confused at seeing his brother in the Monastery so late. 

His head snapped to look at him and a twisted sneer made its way onto his face, his eyes completely swallowed by red and skin so much paler than when Wu last saw him. 

It was in the moment Wu’s heart broke, and he knew… 

That was not his brother.

  
  
  
  


Wu fought his brother and won. 

(It didn’t feel like a win.)

His kimono, laced with a protection spell that he’d almost forgotten, saved him. (He almost didn’t save himself, his brother was gone, he should have stopped it, prevented it somehow, tried harder, he could have stopped it--) 

He was alone.

He didn’t know how to face Misako, how to tell her that her husband, Lloyd’s father, was now gone--trapped in the underworld and likely not coming back until he was ready to take over Ninjago in his thirst for power... 

So he didn’t. 

(Cowardly, selfish,  _ selfish _ .) 

He fled the Monastery with a few things--the box of letters he had treasured and read till they were falling apart, remained in their box, under his bed. 

(He locked the doors before he left. No one would be coming.) 

He hid the Golden Weapons. He didn’t want them. He hated them, hated his father, missed his brother, who he had lost decades ago, missed the people who had died, who used to be his friends. He made a map so he could forget (it was selfish, he knew it was, he couldn’t be selfish or it would hurt someone, somehow (he always ended up hurting someone somehow) but he was selfish anyways.) 

Being around others hurt. He had seen so many die, vanish, betray, gradually fall out of touch, and so many more were trying to live normal lives with their families so he cut himself off from them so they could. So that no one could trace them back to him and attack them because of him. 

And so in being alone he protected the people he cared about.

(He protected himself.) 

  
  
  
  
  


He spent the next ten years protecting Ninjago with everything he had in him, waiting for old threats to return, fighting them off, running from, hiding from his mistakes, and sometimes facing them until he couldn’t breathe. 

Still he pressed forward, even after he ran himself ragged, and pulled from his soul to keep going and going and going, because if he stopped, he was afraid of what might catch up to him. 

(Alone, always alone, he could do it alone, he was safer alone.)

It was better this way. 

(He couldn’t hurt anyone, and no one could hurt him.) 

He distanced himself from Misako and Loyd; they didn’t deserve the kind of lifestyle he was living, everyone who had ever been close to him had been harmed in some way by his action and decisions and mistakes, and he couldn't bear to cause them more harm than he had already. Like always, she would be happier without him. 

(Selfish, selfish, selfish, selfish.)

He hid until no one even remembered the sons of the First Spinjitzu Master--after all, they most likely had died centuries ago, (he wished…) nothing but folklore and fairytales until there were many who questioned their existence in its entirety. 

He protected Ninjago from the shadows, and he did it alone. 

(“ _ Wu always gets everything _ .”)

And yet he had nothing.

  
  
  
  
  


Thing quieted for a while. 

As much as he wished he could forget, or simply stop, he could not. He was getting old. He could not protect Ninjago forever. He needed someone who would look after it when he was finally gone. He loathed the thought of placing the burden on another, but Destiny had already chosen, and he could not abandon the soul who would become the Green Ninja. The Prophecy would occur whether he would have liked it to or not, and he was not going to leave the future saviour of Ninjago without a guide. He could not let another person go through what he had, not alone. 

Mercifully, for both Wu and the Green Ninja, Destiny had already chosen others who would be part of the driving force that protected Ninjago and the Chosen One. The Green Ninja would be alright. They would have guardians--a team--to support them.

(That was good, no one deserved to be alone.) 

  
  
  
  
  


He began his search for them, and was surprised at how easily he found some, and how difficult it was to find others. He had fallen out of touch with most of the Elemental Masters and lost track of them over the years. (Selfish, selfish, selfish, cowardice--) 

(They were all dead, everyone was gone. He’d distanced himself, why didn’t it hurt any less--?)

Disappeared, missing, dead, gone, (why hadn’t he checked on them? Why had he been so selfish?) 

Lilly… dead. 

Maya and Ray… gone. 

Even Misako and Lloyd were nowhere to be found. 

So many missing, most likely dead and gone. 

(Why didn’t it hurt less, why did it still hurt so much--?) 

  
  
  
  
  


Somehow he found the guardians of the Green Ninja. 

Cole. 

(Lilly laughing as she told him her son’s name, Lou rolling his eyes but kissing her cheek, the baby squealing happily as his mother boops their noses together. Wu standing off the side and smiling, smiling, smiling--) 

He breathed through the happy memory (why did the happiest ones always hurt the most?) and trained Lilly’s son. 

He had been climbing a mountain to cope with the loss of both his parents, and Wu tried to help him to the best of his ability, to help him repair the wedge of grief that had appeared between the family. 

(He tried not to think about how if he’d just started looking sooner he might’ve gotten to see Lilly one last time, before…) 

  
  
  
  


Jay was just as odd and eccentric as his mother despite never having known her. It was funny… how those things worked out. Innovative and looking to do something more and help and create. He hated to take him away from such things, but he could not let the Green Ninja be alone. 

Zane didn’t seem to remember him, from their first encounter--or remember anything, really, he learned soon after, and Wu didn’t know what to tell him, unsure about a lot of things himself, so he didn’t say anything, trusting things would come to light in their own time.

(So afraid of being wrong he let a child suffer through amnesia, all the while knowing at least  _ something _ that might have helped him--) 

He tried to give them support while remaining detached and distant (selfish so selfish of him) tried to support them without getting attached. (A lost cause already, they were so easy to love.) 

  
  
  
  
  


Ray and Maya’s children took a bit longer to find and he ached for them. 

(If he’d just kept an eye on them--) 

(If, if, if, if, if, if--) 

It was no use dwelling on the past; they had a future to prepare for. 

Kai (he hadn’t even known the child’s name when he’d ran) reminded Wu so much of Ray in his younger years, it wasn’t hard to see the resemblance. 

Samukai returned, someone Wu never thought he’d would see again, (the first of many,) and-- 

“ _ Lord Garmadon--” _

Wu’s world halted and panic made him freeze horribly because--No. No, it was too soon. They weren’t ready. They weren’t prepared-- 

Destiny rarely waited for those chosen by her to prepare. 

  
  
  
  
  


It felt like a race against Destiny from there on out. The Ninja were full of life and love and Wu could barely remember what it was like to be surrounded by such things. 

One step at a time, they didn’t need more pressure than what they already had, even if his brother was returning and the prophecy was approaching, he would still keep them from their Destiny’s as long as he could. 

(Don’t get attached.) 

(Too late.) 

He tried to handle things himself and failed. 

(He always seemed to fail.) 

  
  
  
  


They ninja believed they defeated his brother (he knew it was not over) and they relaxed. The siblings reunited at least, and the guardians complete. All that was left was for the Green Ninja to arrive. 

He looked for Misako and Lloyd while they waited, and found nothing, but as it turned out, he didn’t need to; Lloyd came to them. 

  
  
  
  
  


The Serpentine returned, he retrieved his brother from the Realm of Madness, the Green Ninja was Lloyd. (It was Lloyd. Of course it was Lloyd, why did it have to be  _ him--? _ Destiny refused to leave their family alone, hadn’t it taken enough from them already?) 

  
  
  
  
  


He watched them grow and learn and fight and grow closer as a team, learning new things about themselves, and each other, reaching potential’s unlocking powers; they progressed. 

As time passed they faced great evil’s and defeated them all together, and…. 

All his mistakes came back, every little thing, every big thing, every misplaced footprint in his past was coming back to destroy the people he cared about, and he didn’t know how to stop it. 

So he tried to deal with it alone. 

(Alone, alone, alone, did he even remember how to be anything other than alone?) 

“ _ There’s something I haven't told you,” _ became the words he seemed to be saying most often. A confession, an admission of defeat. He would wait until he could wait no longer, doing everything in his power to fix it without them ever having to worry or know, (without them ever finding out how many mistakes he had made) but there was so much, he’d been alive for so long, some things were fuzzy and some things he’d never thought would have mattered, but his mistakes seem never ending and relentless. 

He gained Misako, gained his brother. 

...Lost Zane. 

Clouse and Chen took, not only his students, but the other elemental master’s as well. 

Morro came back, but not in the way he wanted. (He should have gone after him, he shouldn’t have let him go--) Then he was gone again and nothing could hurt worse. (Why did he let go, why did he let him let go--?)

Krux and Acronix returned and he tried and failed to handle them himself, making the Ninja have to deal with so much more. 

Garmadon died again and again, and Wu breathed and kept moving. 

Lloyd fell apart and again and again, and he kept moving. 

Zane died, Cole cursed to be a ghost (dead,) they all died--what had he brought upon them--? 

Why was Destiny so cruel to those who had done nothing but good? 

But he didn’t leave. For as long as they continued to fight, he would continue to be there to prepare them as best he could. 

(He couldn’t leave them.) 

(Selfish to leave, selfish to stay, selfish, selfish, selfish.) 

He was afraid. Afraid of what would happen if he was not there. Afraid he had forgotten something that would come back to harm them after he was gone. He told them how to sleep in spite of what they had been through, and never slept himself, spending his nights awake and worrying, endless worrying. 

They were angry with him, because again and again, there was something more he hadn’t told them, something else he’d forgotten in his centuries of memories, a piece of information that could have helped them prevent something, (but could it have?) and they had every right to be angry with him for it. 

Wu wanted to question, when would it all end? But he knew the answer: As long as there was good, there was evil. They would never run out of things to fight--to defend Ninjago from. Such was the way of it. 

He tried to prepare them, tried to keep them ready for whatever might lay ahead, but they were children. They would grow complacent, and he would worry, and wish, and want, and try to be ready himself. 

He did not think they would ever be ready, but things continued to happen anyway. 

His only solace was that they had each other. 

His ninja were not alone, they had each other. 

Knowing that helped him breathe. 

  
  
  
  
  


They won, they lost, they failed, they succeeded, they experienced  _ life, _ and, despite everything, they smiled, they laughed, they grew closer and trusted each other with everything they were. They became a family, adversary only bringing them closer, even as they worked through the trauma. 

Sometimes Wu thought he learned a lot more from them than they learned from him. 

They grew in power and wisdom, while at the same time pulling the dumbest stunts Wu had ever seen in his long life; the most powerful people in Ninjago and still somehow children, even after all the time that had passed. 

That was something admirable about them. Even after everything, they still held onto their childhood and who they were. They didn’t let their hurt and sadness change them into something they were not, retaining their souls and who they were, and that… that was what allowed him to trust that they would be alright. 

They would be alright. 

There were so many times when they weren’t though. 

Wu thought it was a miracle they were all somehow still alive after everything. They grew, learned,  _ changed _ . 

Wu did not. 

(Was it too late for him to change? So many years alone, surviving, living only for himself, could he even begin to…?)

They deserved better than him. Every day proved that, as his students chose to change and to adapt and to become something better than they were the day before. They deserved someone who could grow, adapt, learn, and change along with them. 

Wu was not that person. 

And yet… he could not bring himself to leave--to find someone better for them. He was...

(Selfish.)

Wu was selfish. 

He saw what his mistakes did to them, and yet he stayed. 

(And his brother was supposed to be the evil one?) 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When Garmadon returned--the third time, as himself, his true self, the brother he’d lost all those years ago--he had tried to be… well, he had tried to be  _ Wu _ . He had diluted himself and when Wu had approached him ( _ don’t be like me, don’t be like me, don’t be like me-- _ ) he had confessed that he wasn’t sure which parts of him had been evil and which parts had just been… himself. He had looked to Wu for advice and guidance (the older brother looking to the younger,) as an  _ example  _ and, looking back, it terrified Wu. Garmadon was a better man than he would ever be, and the thought of him trying to be like  _ him _ was… 

(“I’m not as good as you think I am brother.”) 

(“Nobody is perfect, Wu. But you’re one of the most selfless people I know. If anyone could teach me, it is you.”) 

(He had not corrected him.)

(Selfless, he had said. Wu almost wanted to laugh.) 

He couldn’t let Garmadon be him, so he had tried to teach him to be everything he was not. Garmadon was a better man than he had ever been, and it was both relieving and crushing to watch him become someone Wu could never live up to. 

(Just like their father.) 

Wu almost left then; the ninja did not need two teachers, but… well, he waited too long, and they lost his brother instead. 

(Selfish.) 

  
  
  
  


He spent many sleepless nights on the deck of the ship, when his ninja were not there themselves. They tended to spend some evenings on deck as well, when they could not sleep, and he would find a place where they could not see him, listening to their quiet murmurs when another would eventually join them and coax them back inside. Far enough away that he wouldn’t invade their privacy, but close enough that he could keep an eye on them. 

(Far enough away that they couldn’t see him.) 

(They did not need to worry about him.) 

Those nights were cold, and, by the time the sun rose, his limbs would be stiff and aching, but it wasn’t enough for him to stop and spend the nights indoors. He needed to sleep. Sleep deprivation could cause more mistakes and he had already made so many but… 

He couldn’t sleep. Afraid of what might await him in his dreams. 

(Nightmares.) 

Memories.

  
  
  
  
  


It was only a matter of time before one of them found him outside. He supposed he should have been grateful he’d managed his solitude for so long. 

“Master Wu?” 

Wu opened his eyes slowly and turned to look at Cole, where he was standing nearby, and, for a moment, he could see Lilly standing there in the dim light of the stars. 

“Cole,” he greeted softly. “What brings you out with the stars?” 

He should have been sleeping _. _

“I was waiting for you,” Cole told him, coming over to sit down next to him and look out over the stars. “You should be sleeping too.” 

Cole had grown more comfortable around him since the time travel incident and Wu’s odd de-aging experience. His student could read him better. He was more likely to call him out for things… and to worry. Wu wasn’t sure how he felt about the situation. 

(Wu was hundreds of years old, Cole shouldn’t be worried for him.) 

“Are you okay?” Cole asked into the quiet night air, when he remained silent for too long. 

Wu watched the stars below them for a moment before answering. “I am simply remembering. It is easy to lose track of time when reminiscing things of the past.” 

Cole was silent for a moment, before letting out an exhale. “Well, don’t get lost in there too long. A wise old man once told me… the past only does you good to dwell on if you’re learning from it, not losing your present for it.” 

His own words, a little muddled and changed up to fit the speech of the new age, but still the same wisdom at its core. He’d heard them echo his words to each other more than once and could not help but be reminded of Garmadon when he’d echoed his father’s words to him all those years ago. 

It pulled a small smile onto his face, and he appreciated it, as brief as it was. 

“Come on,” Cole said, standing up again. “You’ve been out here alone long enough.” 

Wu looked up to see him offering his hand with a soft, but expectant look on his face. He studied him for a moment, but Cole didn’t seem fazed by his silence, his smile and extended hand unfaltering. 

“Yes,” Wu hummed softly. “I suppose it has been rather long.” 

Cole helped him to his feet, and they headed inside together. 

  
He still didn’t sleep that night. 

But… he was warm. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


(His fault.) 

(Selfish.) 

(They deserved better.)

He provided the ninja with wisdom and encouraged them to grow and change, and yet… he could not seem to do the same for himself.

He did not know if he would ever become something more than what he was, or if he was even capable of being more than his mistakes, but… 

He could try. 

If he had learned one thing from his time alive, surrounded by so many kinds of people, (good and bad) it was that anyone-- _ anyone _ \--was capable of change. No matter their age, their past… anyone could change if they were willing and tried. 

His ninja deserved better. 

But he was all they had, so… he would try. For them. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


“What were you thinking?” his ninja asked him, as they always did when his old mistakes resurfaced. They didn’t expect an explanation or an answer, he never gave them anything but excuses, but…

(Try.)

Wu breathed. 

And told them. 

  
  
  
  
  


“Why?” Lloyd asked, when he tried and failed (as always) to manage something alone.

(Don’t. He’ll worry. It’s not fair.) 

(Try.) 

Wu told him. 

  
  
  
  


“Master Wu?” Cole looked at him, concern etched across his face as he crouched in front of him, the biting wind (wind…) making visible goosebumps appear on his skin. His voice soft, as it always seemed to be when he spoke with him nowadays. “What’s wrong?” 

(Selfish.)

( _ Try.) _

  
  
  
  
  
  


He told him. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It was not easy to… speak of certain topics, or speak of his own thoughts (and guilt) regarding them, and Wu struggled more often than not, words and thoughts scattered, but his ninja were patient. And with their help, and patience, and wisdom...

Wu changed. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The change was not immediate. There were still days when he would withhold things from them, if only out of force of habit, but after a while he got… better. He learned to share, and to lean on them for support, and to speak of things that pained him that they wished to hear.

His nephew and his ninja, and his best friend helped him change when he felt he could not. 

(You are not alone.) 

Wu breathed. 

He was not alone. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


“There will be more.” 

His ninja looked at him. 

“How many more?” Kai asked. 

With aching lungs Wu replied, wishing he had a better answer for them: “I do not know.” It was impossible to know. He’d been alive for so long… made so many mistakes… there might always be more. 

He told them that. 

“My mistakes… regardless of their size, ripple for centuries, even if the initial splash is small. There are likely things coming that I could never predict.” 

Cole studied him for a moment, then placed a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll be ready.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


And that was the biggest miracle of all, wasn’t it? 

They stayed. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When Wu was young, he lost his katana over the wall that protected their home. 

He would say he was too young to remember it well, but that wasn’t exactly true. He had been young. Honestly, he probably  _ shouldn’t  _ have been able to remember--technically speaking he shouldn’t have even been holding the real katana in the first place that afternoon, but he’d begged Garmadon to teach him something, and his older brother, with a warm smile and a nod, had obliged. He was so young, and it happened so long ago, yet… no matter his age, he could never forget the results of his accident. 

Such a small thing, and yet... from it came great pain, and hurt, and loss. 

Every moment was sharp, and crystal clear, when he thought back on it, unlike other memories that he would grasp at as they faded into wisps of smoke that escaped through his fingers before dispersing into whispers and glimpses... feelings of deja vous. 

Wu had lived a very long time.

He had seen much, experienced much,  _ done _ much… too much, it felt at times. 

Sometimes he’d wake up and forget… when he was. For a moment he would open his eyes, thinking he was elsewhere until the memories rushed back in, leaving him more tired than when he’d fallen asleep in the first place. So many years blended together, dates, days, experiences, all tumbling into a muddled mess of memories he’d sometimes forget (he wanted to forget), but they were never gone; despite everything they never completely left him.

He would say that he was getting old, but… well, he’d been old for a very long time already. He would say that he was getting tired, but he’d been tired for a very long time already.

And yet… somehow… he was still alive, still breathing, still loving with all he had in him, despite pain that came with such things. At times the ache would prove to be too much, and he would contemplate the end for a moment, (so close, yet so far away) but in the end… there were things worth living for. Always. As long as there were others alive, there were things, experiences,  _ people _ worth living for. 

He had been alone for a great deal of his life, but… that wasn’t exactly true… was it? There had always been someone nearby. 

Garmadon. 

His Father. 

Misako. 

Morro.

Lilly. 

His nephew and the Ninja. 

So many people, so many who meant the world to him, each in their own unique individual way. Their time with him might have felt brief, but they had been there with him. The only time Wu had truly been alone was when he had hid from those he cared for, when he had run, in a selfish effort to protect himself, only ending in causing more harm to himself and others. 

He had never been alone until he had chosen to be. 

Wu was… 

Not okay. 

He’d known that for a very long time, and accepted it as his fate, but he now realized that being imperfect, and damaged, and prone to making mistakes, wasn’t a reason to give up. There were still things-- _ people _ \--that were worth trying for. As long as there were those he could help, and love, and stand by, there was reason to try. 

He had his family. Odd, uneven, endlessly strange and filled with chaos and noise, and wonderfully  _ his _ . He would remain by their side for as long as Destiny would allow it. He would choose to live every day, in spite of his mistakes. He would choose to learn and grow and change with them. He would choose to try. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ I am Wu.  _

_ I am not my father, I am not my brother, they are both better men than I. I am... someone who has made countless mistakes, which have harmed myself, and so many others, but I am also someone who is trying to become something more than my faults, someone who is trying to learn and grow and change. Although I am imperfect, I choose to change and become better for those I hold dear, and, perhaps someday, I will learn to change for myself as well. _

_ I am Wu. _

_ I am lacking, but I am not alone. _

_ And for as long as I am able… _

_ I will try.  _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Anyone else feel like they got kicked in the chest? Betrayed by my own writing, big oof lskdafmwef
> 
> Can we talk about how Garmadon was in the underworld for ten years max, and when he fought Wu they were both young looking, and in the guidebook it says Garmadon has grey hair because he “turned evil” so that’s why he looks old, anD YET, WU LOOKS LIKE HE AGED A CENTURY IN THOSE TEN YEARS? Ninjago??? EXPLAIN YOURSELF?!!? (I hc that something happened to speed up his aging process, either a run-in with a time artifact, or he ran himself ragged and like… pulled from his own soul to keep going and used his own life force, if ya wanna go the slightly angstier route. Either that or he’s wearing a fake beard and trolling everyone, which honestly wouldn’t be that out of character for the guy lsdlkfma;oiwf The Prankster spirit runs in the family slkdfasd)
> 
> This whole thing started cause I drew this art of Wu waiting for Morro, (I’ve linked the art before in a previous fic but I’ll do it again here anyways. Link: https://ninja-knox-ur-sox-off.tumblr.com/post/630194566661816320/waiting-for-morro-to-come-back-he-never-does ) and thought about how it was interesting that Wu doesn’t tell the ninja things, and keeps trying to deal with them himself and I realized that might be because he’s had to deal with a lot of things alone his whole life, and he might not even know how to rely on another person. Not sure if the point came across in the fic, but yeah laskdmfawef XD 
> 
> Alright, on a more serious end note:
> 
> Change is something that we have to chose again and again, but it’s never too late. You always have the potential to learn and grow and become something different, regardless of where you are at; you just have to take it one step at a time and try. 
> 
> Keep trying guys. There’s so much out there for you and so many people that will, and already do, love you. Our mistakes only define us if we let them. If we accept that it’s all that we are, than that is all we will ever be. Whatever we decide to chose, will be our reality. (Life’s kinda funny that way. Isn’t that cool though? That we are powerful enough to shape our reality just by what we chose to do? I dunno bout you but I think that’s pretty neat.) Our choices shape who we are, and every day that we chose to be something different than what our mistakes try to make us, is another day that we become a little more of that person we have the potential to be. All it takes is that choice and that effort and we can become something amazing. (I mean, you already are amazing, but you get what I mean XD ldskmfasf)
> 
> Drink some water, I believe in you, and if you feel like giving it a shot, try a little today, aight? If it helps, you can try for me until you feel comfortable trying for yourself. And remember! Wherever you are, I love you, and you’re a pretty cool human being. Glad you exist, give living a try. HAVE AN AGRESSIVELY AMAZING DAY >:DDD <3 
> 
> (Drop me a comment if you feel like it, I get happy enough to dance knowing people like my what I create skldfmawe <33)


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